Monday, March 19, 2012

{Family Matters : Things People Say}

I read a post from Naomi on the facenbook page for her blog (which I love) called "Seven Cherubs". As her blog suggests, she has a beautiful family with seven children aka 'the cherubs'. However, she has shared before how she became used to and slightly frustrated at comments about how large her family was. This particular day, she wrote about how a shop assistant said to her "don't you have a tv?" in which she quickly replied "don't you have any manners?"

It got me thinking, the comments really start from the moment there is a baby bump right?!? It suddenly becomes people's prerogative to comment on everything from ceaser vs natural birth, breast vs bottle, dummy vs thumb, age of solids, when they are crawling and then when you "pop out the next one".

I wonder why people think it becomes their business.

I have found this attitude towards my family but in an opposite way to the lady I mentioned above with the large family. As a mum of two boys, I constantly get asked two things:
- When are you having the next baby (particularly since my youngest is
almost 3) AND
- Are you going to try for a girl
Whilst these comments may seem innocent to most, to me these are not so.

We are VERY happy with our two children. And shock horror, I am actually okay and happy with two boys in my house! They have such a playful, active and fun nature and are a REAL blessing to my husband and I.
The question about trying for a girl always baffles me. This comment comes across to me as if my family wouldn't be complete without a daughter and that my boys aren't enough.
Raising future men, fathers and husbands is a blessing and an honour I take very seriously (have written about this here before).
Of course, if God decided to bless us with another child (boy or girl) we would be over the moon! It would firstly be a surprise but a lovely one. But for now, we are happy and life is good.

Regardless of how people view your family and the comments people make about anything small or large, know you are doing a great job! We all have tough days because parenting is a hard job, no-one is alone there. BUT your children are entrusted to you because you are the perfect parent for them.
So, what I took from this reflection was that, people are most likely going to have opinions about my family and I can't change that. However, my happiness is enough and so is my beautiful family, and I plan to treasure each season I have with them as they grow ever so quickly!

I wonder, is it just me, or do you (/did you) find similar questions of your family from people whilst out and about?!


  1. Not having been pregnant, I haven't experienced baby bump questions - but questions about when we're going to have kids are just as bad! Since my husband and I have been married 3 years now, people we hardly know seem to think its fine to question us about when we're going to have children, why we haven't had them yet, and then imply we've made the wrong choices or have the wrong opinion when we say we are happily going to wait awhile yet! Friends of my parents (who I may see once a year if that) on the weekend seemed to think it was fine to give us "advice" (orders) that we needed to have kids now! If God overrides our plans than we would totally be happy with that, but for now - we are happy and content being child free!

  2. Of course, the 'not having babies' questions and comments happen as often to those of my married friends without kids. It seems "dammed if you do or dammed if you don't" as the expression goes. I think the important thing is to do the right thing for your family (whether your family is you and hubby or with kids on top of that).
    What is right for you will not be right for others. Some have kids straight away, others wait. Some have their kids close together and others spread out. I think the sooner we accept that life would be boring if we were all the same and appreciate each other for who we are, with NO JUDGEMENT.....the world would be a better place! :)



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