Friday, May 31, 2013

{"You Broke Mummy!" & The Spitting Cauliflower}

Ever had one of those days?

For me I occasionally have days or moments when things just go totally off the rail  crazy! I mean the moments that leave you wondering if you totally lost your sanity or if it ended up in the sink full of dirty dishes hidden carefully and skillfully under the chopping board for no-one to see. Motherhood does that to you. Occasionally.
Let me rewind.
I have had at least one sick family member requiring nursing duties over the last three weeks. Scarce a day when we are all 100%.
Needless to say I'm over sickness!

However, I always try to soldier on. School pick up done. Home remotely clean. We are on the home stretch to bed time, surely 'happy hour' will pass us by. Right????! WRONG!!

Irrespective of the tiredness, I attempted to keep to my Pinterest worthy menu blackboard where we have Pinterest inspired cauliflower crust pizzas scheduled. Clean, healthy and guilt free. I've been hanging for this all week.
I put the cauliflower on the stove to steam, so far so good. Then the phone rings. As soon as the phone rung, it ushered in a circus like proportion of mayhem. Honestly I can just hear the soundtrack in the background not dissimilar to that you'd find in the big top tent.

Before I knew it I had a 3 year old who had emptied every apple out of the fruit bowl, slowly putting them all on chop sticks to make lollipops - as you do.

Then my 6 year old who had been eerily quiet suddenly started to unpack the kitchen and barking at me for vinegar, a 20c coin and some washing detergent. he had clearly just finished an episode of his favourite show - backyard science.     
I always try to encourage his passions, but timing is sometimes key!

I was doing a great job of refereeing all this CHAOS and maintaining a conversation until I smelt something burning. THE CAULIFLOWER! NOOOOO!!! Thank goodness the food wasn't burned but I added the blackened saucepan to the hidden tetris dishes and started to puree. When I squirted cauliflower in my eye and stepped on a banana slice my year old left for me, I cracked!
I walked straight to the lounge room, put my face under a cushion and just laughed. HARD. Belly laughing. The kind that hurts your ribs and makes you feel like you actually did a work out today (multitasking a meltdown and exercise...I'm THAT awesome). It was that or cry.

6 year old: "What's wrong Mummy? Are you ok?"
Me: " HAHAHAHAH The cauliflower burned and it spat in my eye and now I have white moosh and no dinner!"
3 year old: "Oh no! you broke Mummy!"
Me: "HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" (sometimes you'll cry if you don't laugh...i think i did both).

So, Rather than get up and make dinner which will probably be cheese on toast, I decided to be totally productive and blog about this madness in the hope that someone will tell me I am not alone.
Please tell me that I am not the only one who has an afternoon where like this, where you hang for hubby to get home, give you a big hug and tell you it's ok. A moment where you should be productive but instead find yourself sitting on the lounge, noticing the cookie crumbs on the floor, in your fat pants and wearing that jumper you should have given to Vinnies last wardrobe clean out.   


So here's to those days where you feel like a total failure. To the days where you can be going so well and the tiny humans...nay HURRICANES! turn it upside down in a matter of minutes. Then they get into their pj's and give you a sloppy kiss and melt your world with cuteness.

It may not be 'apple lollipops' and 'spitting cauliflower' that bring you to your knees, but make me feel better by telling me your story here (below), on the facebook page {here} or in person for those that know me...if you dare!

Lauren x


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